Bad erase good.

You know how I get emo over missing my family and stuff and people tend to judge that as a sign of weakness meaning, I'm not strong enough or I'm not independant etc?

Does missing one's family really proves that I'm not strong and independant? Just because I love my family so much that I can't bear to leave them means I can't be independant? What does being independant or strong means to you? Why is it that because I'm exceptionally close to my family I have to be called dependant and weak? When something bad happens, it erases all the good...

Indeed I do think about how nice it would be if I were to be in Singapore studying. Yet at the same time, is it worth the trouble to go through 3 years of SIM and get that degree when I'm given a chance to get another one which I think is of a better choice? I do question myself every now and then but sometimes it all boils down to my rational point of view.

I think I am too emotional and rational at the same time sometimes. Yes, irony. But I do know it's irrational to give up my studies in UQ and head back to Sg to get another degree but when I miss home so much I really thought of doing so. It sounded so feasible then. But somehow deep inside me I knew I couldn't bring myself to do it.

Not only would I disappoint myself, I would also disappoint my mum and aunts. Sometimes I can't find the joy in studying in UQ but sometimes I can't find the joy in studying in Sg either. Being here means missing everyone at home. Being in Sg means not being able to experience a uni life like this.

There's always 2 sides to a coin and I chose my own path so I can't complain. It's tough but I'm sure after everything I'll be so proud to hold my cert and celebrate my graduation. I wouldn't feel proud if I graduated from some uni in Singapore though. I don't feel the excitment when I got my O levels or Diploma. But I know I will when I get my Degree.

Furthermore, Michelle's coming over together with my sis next sems. I'm sure it'll be all good! ^^
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My little sis came over to accompany me for a few days before flying back this morning.

It feels empty without her now. For the past few days we were like laughing and doing crazy stuff in the room. Reading all the stupid comic books we bought and watching Fruits Basket together. But now.. the room is.. a bit.. quiet....

I miss her.

I may not show, or may not know how to show it. But I believe she knows it herself too that I love her. It's just sometimes when I want the best for her I tend to be agitated when she doesn't listen to me.

It happens doesn't it? When you love someone too much and you get worked up when they don't understand where you come from kinda thing. But being the fact that we're sisters, we tend to make up sliently and quickly.

I'm looking forward to next sems when she'll be here with me.

Meanwhile, I'll just await for 8th of June to arrive..

I miss my family.. =)