Perturbed.

I envy people who has so much to do. Be it work, studies or partying.

But I'm so happy with my slacker-holic life now.

I practically rot at home watching TV, doing stupid stuff and annoying my family members. But I'm happy. I suddenly feel I'm such a bum, not doing anything but lazing around. But I'm still happy.

Probably that's because I wanna spend all the time I can at home before I leave for the (not-so) faraway Brisbane. But then again I feel I'm wasting my youth like this. Contradicting. Yes I know. I wanna do something but I'm simply too lazy. I just want to be able to do things I like at my own pace now.

For slightly less than 20 years now, I've been studying and doing things I do not really enjoy when I'm here, in the great-o-Singapore. I work shitty jobs and study shitty subjects. Now that I am free from the studies burden and have no proper job at the moment. I somehow feel free. When will I ever be able to lead such a life in future? Why should I make myself feel torturous now when my future would just prove the same? Am I doing the right thing? I don't know for sure. But one thing I do know is that, life will never be what I'm experiencing now. Never.

3 - 4 years from now. I will have to work on a full time basis. I will no longer experience holidays that amounts to a month or even a week. I will never be able to do things at my own pace 'cuz Singapore is moving so freaking fast.

Then the question pops into my head.

What is life about?

Do I have to study or work to the fullest to attain a rich and fulfilling life? Or should I take things easy and enjoy what I'm doing?

How would you lead yours if you had a choice? To pack your schedule so tight you feel tired or to enjoy doing things at your own pace? For now, I'm choosing the latter.

Having a skeptical attitude now doesn't help deciding what I should do. Lol. I'm questioning every action I take and I suddenly feel insanely controlled by the society.

Thou shall not succumb to the pressures given by the society. Hah!

I will continue doing things I love although I may not necessarily learn much now. I believe I will in time to come. Sigh..

This time..

Perplexed Eve.